My Lunch september 11th, 1h45
Extract of :"The food Diary"1h45 Lunch.(see photo)
Spinach salad with tomatoes, marinated tofu, sweetcorn, cucumber, dressing with balsamic vinegar, olive oil and herbs.
Pudding: a few nuts and figsComments: eaten outside, alone.
Reflection of the day:Is it relaxing to eat alone?
1h45:I enjoy mixing colours in my bowl when I prepare it.
1h55:I am strangely aware of the fact that I am eating as I stop between two mouthful to write these lines.
2h05:As I am eating my fresh salad, I start thinking about chocolate!?As I am emptying my plate, I loose progressivly consciousness and switch into automatic mode.My body is eating, my mind is drifting away...I am thinking about my blog, about my funding application, about what I will do next...BUT, am I thinking ABOUT FOOD?
I can sense that there are so many underlying feelings contained in this research. Some of which I am aware of and some of which are unknown. This fills me with fear(all the better to motivate me).
Is this project about food or about my relationship with my mother,and subsequently to my children? how about my relationship to myself?
As I finish my nuts, anxiety invades my all body:...full but never fulfilled...a vertigo...am I falling or am I suspended in time waiting for something that will never come?
...and then, I breathe,and I get on with my day, absorbed by all the daily tasks I religiously give to myself ... being my own boss!
2h20pm:a green tea will wash down all my worries.
2h45pm: a few more nuts as I am trying to shape my thoughts for the project; slown down by technical problems................Frustration..............eating...........feeling better............get on with it.